Birthday

"You wait, little girl, on an empty stage,

For fate to turn the light on..."

Little things

It's amazing how much difference the little things make.

I had a great day at work today, and I did not see it coming.

I've been feeling a little run down this week and I've been unable to figure out why.

Shaz, noticing that I haven't been myself, suggested that today I pick a patient to spend some time with and just have chats.

I was reluctant to do this at first because the last thing I feel like doing when I'm down is be around people. Bad states are often contagious and I didn't want to pass it on to anyone, nor did I want to pretend that I was okay when I was not.

However, when my resident Steph asked me to reinsert a cannula today, I pushed aside the dread and my instinctive 'No', and said 'Yes'.

It was a win.

Renal patients are notorious for their challenging veins. Thankfully though, my patient's were relatively good and more importantly, she was lovely to talk to and she was very patient with me.

I missed the first go, as I did not anchor the vein very well and it was extremely wobbly. This was silly of me (rookie mistake) and I could've kicked myself. It was a beautiful vein and a wasted opportunity. It also meant another needle for the patient and I'm never happy about that.

The second one was a success. I felt that the patient and I had developed a good rapport and I enjoyed talking to her. Although I've experienced it countless of times before, I still find it hard to believe that such a simple thing could change my outlook so drastically.

I love my work. I love my patients. And, more than anything, I love having a purpose. I love it when I get things right and if I can even make one patient smile or feel better, that constitutes a good day for me.

Having said that, I've got worries just like anyone else.

I'd like to have money in the bank. I've got $3 in there at the moment (no joke), and was looking at the prospect of starving today, except that serendipitously, it's my hospital's 25th birthday today and so a sausage sizzle was organised for the staff.

I escaped with a veggie pattie, cake and an orange juice. I was a happy girl :)

It seems that the Big Guy in the Sky still has a soft spot for me, despite my many transgressions.

Rest assured, I'll be working hard to return the love.

Mean

There is just something about medicine that brings out the best and worst of humanity.

Personally though, I find no greater reminder or motivator to be a better person than observing someone else behaving like a fink.

I've observed unpleasant interactions in all permutations between doctors, nurses and patients, and I am often puzzled at how easy it is for us to sometimes forget simple things such as good manners and common decency.

I myself am not immune to this. There are days when I get so caught up in narcissism that I may react to situations like a complete jerk and don't quite realise until much later just how horrible I must have come across.

Vanity... Conceit... Selfishness... Such ugly traits that are unfortunately all too commonly exhibited in the world of medicine, mostly due to the fact that the field consists of a large amount of human interaction and with that, so many different ways in which it can go wrong.

It's easy to forget crucial things if you fail to associate to them the level of importance that they deserve.

A little kindness, compassion and consideration goes a long way in our everyday interactions and it should be applied regardless of the person we are interacting with because in the end, I'm a big believer in the fact that you should be good to people, not because of who they are, but because it's who you are.

Sick

I feel miserable and gross and I can't bring myself to get out of bed.

Specific symptoms?

Pyrexia, fatigue, malaise, myalgia, and nasal and sinus congestion. Oh, and of course, guilt.

For the past 4 years, guilt has been a major symptom of every disease that my body (and mind) has encountered and I know I'm not the only one in the medical field who experiences this strange and unnatural phenomenon.

Here's the story: My registrar came to work last week clearly sick. She led the ward round but asked the resident to examine the patients as we are on the renal transplant team and of course, all our patients are immunosuppressed.

Two days later, she was still sick. And two days later, she passed it on to me.

I am now in bed feeling completely miserable and entirely guilty for being too sick to go to work (which incidentally is where everybody else goes when they're sick...).

How sad is it that we live in a culture where doctors are unable to comfortably adopt the sick role when they are genuinely sick?

I'm often told that doctors are not expected to be perfect. We are not expected to be flawless, and we are not expected to be superhuman.

And yet... Are we expected to have superhuman immune systems?

Why does there exist this unreasonable pressure for us to be 100% functional 100% of the time, and when we fall short of that, why is it so hard for us to cut ourselves a break?

As far as I know, doctors are just as vulnerable to illnesses as anybody else and at the same time, we're exposed to more diseases than the average person.

As logic follows then, doctors should literally be the sickest people on the planet.

And when they are sick, it's only fair that they're allowed to appropriately adopt the sick role.

Otherwise, it just seems a little cruel.

(Sadly) My Favourite Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

• Knowing when to come in out of the rain; 
• Why the early bird gets the worm;
• Life isn't always fair;
• And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,

• by his parents, Truth and Trust,
• by his wife, Discretion,
• by his daughter, Responsibility,
• and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;

• I Know My Rights
• I Want It Now
• Someone Else Is To Blame
• I'm A Victim
• Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.