A lot happens, some of it traumatising, and at the end of the day, you don't really want to talk about it.
Since I've decided to chronicle my internship year however, it would be remiss of me to back out of it now.
So let's get ourselves up to speed.
At present:
- I have just completed my second week of Orthopaedic Surgery, in which I have worked between 11 and 16 hours without breaks
- I have been working for 12 days straight, 3 of which have been a long weekend cover shift, in which I covered the Orthopaedic ward, along with General Surgery, ENT, Urology and Rehab
The work is good and I really enjoy it. However, my work is all I have been doing for the past 12 days.
In the past fortnight, I have felt unrested, uncleansed, and unfed. If you walked into my apartment you'll find a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, a pile of dirty laundry on the floor, a rubbish bin full to the brim, and piles and piles of things around the place which have yet to be unpacked from when I "moved in" two Sundays ago.
I leave for work before the sun rises and I return from work after the sun has long set. This is not an unusual pattern of schedule for a medical professional, but it does not mean that it is right.
All it means is that all I want to do when I get home from work is sleep. All other aspects of my life outside of work - family, friends, recreational activities... All things that make me sane - are all placed on the back burner; as if you're familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you'll know that physiological needs tend to raise above those of safety, love, esteem and belonging.
Regardless, I've had a good first fortnight. I love my patients, my colleagues are a pleasure to work with, and the administration provide me with a lot of support and encouragement. All these factors make me feel like I'm working for a purpose - a worthwhile cause - and that I'm a part of something much bigger that I, and that is good quality healthcare.
The only problem with me working 12 days in a row, other than exhaustion, life neglect and sleep deprivation, is the fact that it is so hard to leave when you eventually do get some time off.
I am in Melbourne this weekend to attend my interview and entrance exam to get into the General Practice Training Programme and while I'm aware that my thoughts and attention should be here with me, I can't help but wonder about my patients in hospital and how they are doing.
I wonder if the interventions I performed yesterday helped at all. I wonder if any of my patients are getting discharged over the weekend. I wonder if anything eventful occurred overnight (and I hope the answer to this is, No).
It makes me feel like the hospital is a little bit like Hotel California.
You can check out any time you'd like (assuming it's rostered), but you can never leave.
