Little things

It's amazing how much difference the little things make.

I had a great day at work today, and I did not see it coming.

I've been feeling a little run down this week and I've been unable to figure out why.

Shaz, noticing that I haven't been myself, suggested that today I pick a patient to spend some time with and just have chats.

I was reluctant to do this at first because the last thing I feel like doing when I'm down is be around people. Bad states are often contagious and I didn't want to pass it on to anyone, nor did I want to pretend that I was okay when I was not.

However, when my resident Steph asked me to reinsert a cannula today, I pushed aside the dread and my instinctive 'No', and said 'Yes'.

It was a win.

Renal patients are notorious for their challenging veins. Thankfully though, my patient's were relatively good and more importantly, she was lovely to talk to and she was very patient with me.

I missed the first go, as I did not anchor the vein very well and it was extremely wobbly. This was silly of me (rookie mistake) and I could've kicked myself. It was a beautiful vein and a wasted opportunity. It also meant another needle for the patient and I'm never happy about that.

The second one was a success. I felt that the patient and I had developed a good rapport and I enjoyed talking to her. Although I've experienced it countless of times before, I still find it hard to believe that such a simple thing could change my outlook so drastically.

I love my work. I love my patients. And, more than anything, I love having a purpose. I love it when I get things right and if I can even make one patient smile or feel better, that constitutes a good day for me.

Having said that, I've got worries just like anyone else.

I'd like to have money in the bank. I've got $3 in there at the moment (no joke), and was looking at the prospect of starving today, except that serendipitously, it's my hospital's 25th birthday today and so a sausage sizzle was organised for the staff.

I escaped with a veggie pattie, cake and an orange juice. I was a happy girl :)

It seems that the Big Guy in the Sky still has a soft spot for me, despite my many transgressions.

Rest assured, I'll be working hard to return the love.